A late rise for me but The Navigator is pissed, the security camera’s alert from early (like 3am) that a “human” has been detected, one phone goes “ping” the other phone buzzes. A check of the camera’s shows Mark mowing our lawn and everytime he goes past where the camera detects him it pings and buzzes. She’s off her nut, can’t work out how to stop the noise (its real its not in her head – or is it?). I change the settings on one phone and put the other on “Aeroplane” mode and the noises stop, The Navigator stops complaining and Mark cops an ear bashing when she phones him later on.

We wander down town to the Rye shops after a chat with our landlady and her husband, both retired doctors. A pasty and tea and coffee at a nice bakery fills the hungry space and we spend the morning wandering the beautiful old town centre lookig in shops and the only purchase being a truck load of exotic lollies, and they are very tasty. I notice that nearly all the voices I hear are very clipped, very posh English, maybe its the Sussex accent? I dunno ????

A cup of tea for lunch and we then head to the car in the Rope walk carpark to go driving.

Now a little on the story of Rye. Its a town near the sea in East Sussex with medieval houses, mostly stone, timber and brick. Just over the street from where we are staying in West Street is a red brick house called Lamb House which was once owned by the writer Henry James. There is a Norman Church just above us and right near it the 14th century Ypres Tower which was originally part of Rye’s defences. Over the years its been known as a port, a naval base, a fishing town and a market centre. And its busy this morning, with tourists looking in the many shops.

Next stop is Winchelsea just down the road, it was founded in 1288, after Edward I granted a charter for a town to be located where it is now. They have a weird process to choose their Mayor – Google it if you want to know, its complicated and gives me a headache thinking about it. There is a stunningly beautiful ancient church, St Thomas the Martyr, named after Thomas a Beckett (later he was the Archbishop of Canterbury) and he was later murdered after a blue with the King Henry II. He was then canonised (made a saint – not blown out of a cannon). There are some monuments in the church supposedly Knights Templar We visit this church not because we knew this stuff but because a special favourite of mine is buried in the churchyard. Spike Millgan is buried here, his epitath “I told you I was ill” , a small blue started when his son objected to Spike’s 3rd wife being buring with him and her name being added to the epitath which now says ” may they rest together in perpetual light”. Families eh!

We then fang through the small English laneways and villages through to Battle Abbey, built by William the Conquerer (my 25th Great Grandfather – did I already tell you that?) at the site of the Battle of Hastings to celebrate his victory over Harold – the Anglo Saxon. It costs us 17 quid to get inside the grounds of the Abbey and do the tour of the Battle of Hasting grounds. To be honest the buildings are impressive, and the walk around is interesting but I’m not sure its worth the money. The Navigator takes a minimalist tour, and sits up the top of the hill the Anglo Saxons looked down over The Duke of Normandy and his troops.

Its getting late, so we drive back to Rye through the backroads via the town of Hastings and along the coast for some of the way. Fish and chips is on the go tonight, sea cod and crispy chips with good old vinegar.

Tomorrow we leave Rye and head to Salisbury.

Cherio from Rye – Pauolo

After sleeping so well in a midgets room we’re off early again, “adventure before dementia” The Navigator has on her bag. We wrestle the bags down the skinny stairs, then into the grubby early morning foggy London Streets to Kings Cross St Pancras to brave the Tube, with full travelling kit, to Victoria Station.

A little stressful on the crowded tube train when some wanker tries to get on too late and the doors jam. The driver puts a message over to that effect but meanwhile, for a short time we’re in a steaming hot, blacked out Tube train while they are trying to reset the doors. Luckily it all works out and we’re at Victorian Station, The South Eastern Line area waiting for our train out to Mainstone, a Macca’s breakfast is the go while we wait.

There is hardly anybody on the train so the conductor chats to us the whole way to Maidstone East where we are to pick up our hire care at Europcar. A short walk to the car hire offices and they have a small problem with our allocated car showing a service message so they ask us if we’re ok to upgrade to new Mercedes 300d sedan rather than the wagon they had allocated. Unfortunatley our eyes weren’t calibrated too well and we couldn’t fit our bags in the boot so they give us a Mercedes 200 Station wagon – we say “That’ll do!” A bit later we’re sitting in the car park trying to work out what all the Merc knobs and wheels do, where are the gears. Eventually we get under way, they first stop planned is Leeds Castle.

We have the car GPS running with Google maps on a phone, so confusion initially means we drive down a few dry gullies, but it works out. We make it to Leeds Castle, which is not in Leeds city up north its near Leeds village in Kent. This castle was built with many and varied versions starting in 857 ad, in the 13th century my 20 something great grandfather Edward I (aka Edward Longshanks) used it as his favourite residence, It the 16th century Henry VIII used it as the residence of his first wife Catherine of Arragon. The gardens and surrounds are stunning and beautiful, befitting its long and illustrious history.

Getting better at the driving and navigating we skop the edges of Canterbury and head to Dover for a look at the White Cliffs of Dover. Dover is the busiest sea passenger terminal in the world, or so the internet says. The ferries are coming in and out, the seas are choppy and sloppy, it blowing a gale, not a day to be on the English Channel. Abover Dover sits the imposing Dover Castle. We have a large lunch/afternoon tea and walk along the cliffs and are nearly blown off the wind is so strong.

We drive down the coast to to Rye where we have a B&B booked for the next 2 nights, a little down time tomorrow to catch up after the recent hectic pace, we’re all a bit tired.

Its a lovely drive down the coast, the Merc is lovely to drive and sticks to the road like the proverbial sh.t to a blanket in the drizzling rain and howling wind. I think the 300D would have been super cool to drive though. Oh well maybe next time.

Our B&B is on West Street, Rye. Rye is in Sussex, on the sea, its an old town with a lovely vibe. There’s Dennis Denuto from The Castle again!

Dinner is at a pub reccomended by our host, the Standard Inn which is about 150 yards away. The place is packed, its warm, no, hot inside in the way of English places, always hotter than they need to be. We have a few drinks and 3 of us have pies and Genelle has fish and chips. We chat to a couple of gay blokes (pretty sure they were) and a young couple from London (he’s a lawyer and she works for Christies in the fine arts sales area)

A great night, after a walk home in the rain its a good nights sleep thats needed.

Cherio from Rye in Sussex, England – Pauolo

Sorry about the delay but I’m writing on Day 23 from Rye in Sussex, a beautiful ancient village near Hastings where my 25th Great Grandfather (don’t say anything smart my so called friends who like to take the piss out of me regarding this fact in my family heritage) – William the Conquerer led the Normans in defeating King Harolds Anglo-Saxon army at the Battle of Hastings in 1066. Harry was killed in the battle and William was crowned king at Westminster Abbey the following Christmas Day. Ok, got that out of the way.

Now yesterday, it was Phil from Sacred Grounds Tour’s who had us for the day. He was great, there was us, plus a woman from between Melbourne and Bendigo named Sue, who was also doing the 2nd day in the Flanders battlefields which is about 180km away. Phil is a Aussie who married a French woman 14 years ago, her family are from Arras, they have a daughter ( Madelaine) and his business is battlefields tours and he’s good at it, lots of fun, lot of knowledge. He’s just finished renovatin a B&B called something like Chez Madelaine, he’s sending the details to Sonya. He’s keen to meet Sonya who he said has sent him many clients, and I have to say he’s a gem.

He gets the details on my relative who was the 1st Battalion, and was killed between 22-25 July 1916 at the Battle of Pozieres. See yesterday’s post. His name is on the Villers Bretoneaux wall for soldiers killed with an unmarked grave. His body would be in either one of two cemeteries as ” A Soldier Known Only to God” or still under the ground in a battlefields. We tour allied and Australian cemeteries ( they are everywhere in the Somme valley) area, the battlefields of Pozieres, Baupame, Villers Bret, Albert, Le Hamel and others we know of from books. They are still finding 1 tonne of unexploded ordinance in the Somme battlefields every week, and human remains are still coming to the surface in the lovely farming country of the Somme where they grow corn, sugar beet, potatoes and other stuff. We alos see the Lochnagar Crater, 91 metres wide and 1 metres deep due to a huge underground mine exploded under the German lines. They even have vegetable vending machines in the villages. The amount of blood spilt in this small area its no wonder that they can grow almost anything. We finish at the Australian National Memorial at Villers Bretonneux and the Sir John Monash Centre. I leave a crocheted poppy given to me by Caroline, my cousin Ian’s wife at the memorial under the spot where my Great Uncle Arthur James Coombes name is listed, the other I leave the other poppy at the grave of an unknown Australian soldier at the Pozieres Cemetery. At this cemetery I find the grave of an unknown Australian soldier killed with the same date 22-25th July 1916 and from the 1st Battalion, maybe it was him, who knows, so many died, 7,700 men of the 1st Division (of which the 1st Battalion belonged) died just in this battle from 23rd July to 3rd September. 1/3 of the deaths are unknown soldiers in the Somme, 2/3’s are unknown in the Flanders battlefields.

Lunch is at a small restaurant/cafe in a village owned by an English couple, lovely home cooked food, all inclusive in the tour.

We visit the Australian memorials for the 1st, 3rd and 5th Divisions and other sites. So many things to see and try to remember. All I really remember is thinking what a god forsaken mess this war made to so many men and their families from all over the world. The motto “Never Again” is great, but idealistic and unfortunatley WWII and the other slaughter that has happened as well as what Putin has done in the Ukraine tells me that the lesson hasn’t been learned yet. Maybe never will be.

Anyway you look at it has been a very informative and enlightening day thanks to Phil. Well done, I recommend him highly.

Phil drops us back at Arras Holiday Inn at 6pm, time to pick up our bags and make the short walk to Arras train station for our 7:20 something pm train to Paris. Then its on to the 9:13pm Eurostar to London and a short walk to our hotel, The Crestfield Hotel. The Crestfield is in a dark street, all sorts of strange people lurking in the shadows, bit scary walking there so late at night but the rooms are clean, and so tiny that a pygmy couldn’t swing a small cat in there. We struggle with the steps up 2 floors in a very skinny stairway, but make it a fall into bed. Its cold outside but the room is warm so The Navigator turns the fan on to keep us cool.

Another day on the road travelling, a long tiring day but very good.

Cherio from London – Pauolo

We start early again, 5.30am rise, squeeze last bits into bags, walk to the Lucerne train station in the dark through early morning drizzling rain. Quietly. Not much to talk about this time of the day, certainly by me anyway.

Forgot to say yesterday, there was a real dusting of snow on the Alps around Mt Pilatus the previous night, all we can see on the top part of Pilatus is white now, shame it wasn’t there when we’re up there the other day.

Today Europe is wet, the forecast looks bleak for everywhere, so a good time to be travelling in the dry although the forecast looks the same for the next few days all the way to England.

Our train is on Gleis 6 ( Platform 6), we’re on early, bags stowed low. A good thing not having to lift them high to luggage racking. Amazingly the train is pretty full even though we do spread out a bit. Basel on the corner of Switzerland, Germany and France arrives in an hour, huge train station, 30+ platforms. A quick check and we find an earlier train going our way, same spec and we are advised we can take it. First class is spacious, seats are wider and it’s less busy. A bit more expensive but nice to relieve the pressure for a short time. Clearly it’s a French train. The language is all French, Bonjour, Merci, voila, parlais vous Anglais? You know the ropes. This train only gets up to 200kph, next one is a TGV so it should be 300+ kph from Strasbourg to Paris.

We’re in Strasbourg on time, different being in France to Switzerland and way different to Italy. Hardly any English spoken or on the message boards, it’s French or nothing. The SNCF (French national railway) have funky hats, the little French head tilt, they are just different, in a good way.

The Alsace region, of which Strasbourg is the capital has about 1.9m people, and has alternated between German and French control over the years, it was Hitlers excuse to poke France’s ribs by annexing it before WWII, that ended well for everyone didn’t it! Did Vlad Putin read the instruction manual Hitler wrote on Alsace Lorraine before he annexed the Crimea and attacked, sorry, moved to protect Russian citizens in the Ukraine?

We have allocated seats in 1st Class for the 1 & 3/4 hours to Paris, 500 km = 6 hours by car or the train averaging 250 kph, I’ll take the train thanks. It’s running at 310 – 320 kph, slightly faster than the old XPT to Dubbo. Wouldn’t it be good if we could find a way for high speed train travel to work in Australia?

The country changes from mountains to arable land, crops, rolling hills, ploughed paddocks , no stops until lunch in Paris before the train to Arras.

At Gare de Est there is the usual bums rush to get off the train, but 1st Class is a little more restrained. My job is to get us for Gare de EST to Gare du Nord train station. The job is easy with Google maps and not to mention the prominent signs, it’s a 10 minute walk although the Navigator with shopping in her back struggles with the pace. She settles when we get into the huge train station, we’ve been here before and it seems really busy in the station this time.

PROBLEM – we discover Liz’s train ticket is for 10:30am this morning, not the 14:28 that Genelle, Paul and are on. Genelle sends a message to Sonya but we don’t have time and have to fix the stuff up quickly. I mind the bags and Genelle Liz & Paul go to the ticket office to find a solution, if there is one. They tell her the ticket she has had expired, so only option is to try and buy a new one for the same train. The lineup is long and I’m not sure we’ll find a solution in time for the 2:28 train!!!!!!!

TIP – Double check your train tickets dates, times, seats etc and print hard copies as electronic 2nd ticket copies sit below the top copy. Make sure they match, then double check, again.

They manage to secure a €17 ticket with about 5 minutes to spare, otherwise Liz would not have got through the barcode machine and security to let us through to the platform for our train, lucky we did a check on seats and times when we got to Gare du Nord. Her original f….up ticket was on the same booking number so not sure what happened? If this hadn’t been noticed early by Genelle & Liz when we got of the train Paris it would have been a big problem as Liz would have been stopped at entrance to the platform.

Now, we’ve arrived in Arras, on time, those TGV trains sure do go fast, the Holiday Inn Express is 5 minutes walk from the train station, sort of a non descript average French town near the railway station, nothing flash from what we can see first up. Our Check In is good, nice staff, very helpful, rooms are OK and good pillows has impressed The Navigator. The front office give us a map and some good advice so we walk up town, a few minutes and we’re in the “old town” of Arras, French Flemmish architecture, the beautiful big squares with the cafes and restaurants, people smoking, drinking, laughing, ha ha ha – all so very French – Dr Bob I hear your voice all the time, it reminds of of you and how you sound when you speak, its all good mate, I like it. We find a bar/cafe and have a few drinks, wander some more, a standard western type meal for dinner, some funky bio beer that Paul doesn’t like much and we wander home for a well deserved sleep to get ready for tomorrow’s Somme battle tour with Sacred Grounds – Out in The Somme Day Tour which focus’s on the Australian war experience in WWI. By the way Arras is very pretty and has a nice vibe, as Dennis Denuto said in The Castle “Its all about he vibe…….” and I like the vibe of Arras.

Why do I want to do it you might ask:

The Coombes name is a relation on both sides for me. My mothers elder sister Connie married a Coombes, so I have 4 x 1st cousins on Mums side named Coombes. Those cousins father, Johnnie Coombes, was my fathers mother (my Grandmother on dads side) 1st Cousin. There were 5 Coombes cousins who went to WWI in the infantry in Flanders, and the Somme battlefields, 3 died, one was wounded 3-4 times and medically discharged and the other was wounded and had a difficult life. Four years age I visited 1 grave and 1 memorial in the unknown grave section at the Ypes Memorial at Menin gate in Belgium and left a poppy that my cousin in law Caroline had crocheted for the AWM. Tomorrow I have one poppy left to leave for the 3rd one who died in the Somme. He was Arthur james Coombes (aka Mick), born 1878, he was a batchelor, a farmer, his father died in 1905 so he lived at home with his mother. He was my Great Uncle – my grandmothers brother. He joined up in August 1915, and joined the 16th reinforcent to the 1st Division 1st Battalion at the front 20th May 1916 and was killed between 22-25th July 1916 in the Battle of Pozieres. His record says he was “buried in the vicinity of Pozieres”. His brother William (Spider Bill) also served but returned home, he had 4 other brothers and 3 sisters. He lost 1st cousin Stanley Coombes 4th Battalion at the Battle of Paschendale 12/10/1917 and Stanley’s brother Alfred 34th Battalion was killed at the Battle of Messines 7/6/1917. My Grandfather (Dads father) served in the 7th Lighthorse in Palestine and Gallipoli (after the war ) and Mums Uncle was in the 7th Light Horse as well but died in training camp from measles. There is a long tradition of service in the military in both sides of my family, with Dads brother serving in WWII and two first cousins seving in the regular army 1 in the engineers in Malaya and Vietnam and the other in the SAS in many or all of the modern spheres of war and my nephew in law who is/was an officer in the RAAF has served overseas in the middle east and on UN missions, so I believe in recognising and honouring service and sacrifice of our military service men and women. Hopefully I’ll find Mick’s memorial and leave something to show somebody remembered him.

So Merci (thankyou) for reading, and Bonsoir ( or whatever it is) from Arras in France tonight. Pauolo

Sleep in until about 5am, can’t sleep, read a little, get ordered to go to sleep by The Navigator, that works. F…g miracle, she can fix electric faults and put people to sleep, what a versatile woman she is.

I do get up at about 8, refreshed from my enforced sleep, and have a very good in house breafast of fruit, muelsi, yogurt and a cup of good Italian coffee from the pod machine, I’d like some of this coffee back home, strong, smooth and lots of flavour,

Its clear but threatening rain when we walk to the bridge and over into the town proper. First job is the Victorinox shop to get a new band on The Navigators expensive Victorinox watch she bought in Luzern many years ago. She hardly wears it because the Apple watch has a phone, can’t do without a phone can we? The Victorinox watch people, except for one buggerise around and can’t get the band on, it cost a bit as all Victorinox stuff does so they better have if on right, the old band was perished and was about to give way so it needed to be done.

Next stop is through the Luzern shopping centre up to the Lion Monument, its a sculture in the face of a cliff designed by Bertel Thorvaldsen and carved in 1821 by Lukas Ahorn to commemorate the Swiss Guards who were massacred in 1792 during the French Revolution defending the King of France when the revoltionaries stormed the Tuileries Palace in Paris. Its pretty big being 10 metres long and 6 metres high. 760 guards were killed and 350 survived. Its a bit of a political football still.

Next stop is a shop where we buy our travel momento for the shelf where we put something from each trip, this time its a multi coloured ceramic Swiss cow. Don’t ask me the colours, theres lots of them and they are bright and some blend together for me,

Its starting to rain, next stop is a shop Genelle and I have been to before, I buy a Swiss watch, so does Liz, not expensive but good quality. Paul and Liz head to the Mechanical Museum which is around the lakes edge quite a way but the heavy rain causes them to abandon the walk, meanwhile Genelle and I case out the C&A shop where I actually buy 2 pieces of clothing. Yes folks, C&A is not an op shop, nor a Thai tailor so this is a rare event. Genelle continues shopping, its hard work but somebody has to do it. I buy a book to read, then wander the streets, a foot massage looks inviting so I indulge (too much time in Thailand!).

Overall a pretty quiet day, a restful day ready for a heavy day of travel tomorrow on trains. Luzern to Basel, change, Basel to Strassbourg, change, Strassbourg to Paris, change, Paris to Arras, stay. Next day a Somme battlefield tour, then England.

Dinner is a restaurant by the water, a lovely spot, good food, expensive but good. A good way to end our Swiss journey.

Ciao, Guten Abend from Luzern (or Lucerne) Switzerland

I said in an earlier post that revenge is a dessert best served cold. I probably got what I deserved last night, the bathroom light wouldn’t turn on for me, I tried and tried, the electrician tried, we came up with a Plan B and The Navigator just walks in pushes the button and it works, no comment just the look. I’m humbled and feel defeated. And it still works this morning!

Early start today, 5am out of bed, breakfast, walk in the dark to the Luzern train station to get the 6:05 Interlaken Express which takes 2 hours but actually the main train station is Interlaken Ost (East). Then we catch another train to Grunewald where the cable car starts up the mountain – TIP the Grunweald stop for the cable car is actually Grunewald Terminal, we lose Paul for a moment but he’s just visited the boys room, phew. He’s still not 100% well, and the Jubgfraujoch was one thing he really wanted to do, yesterday we took the punt on a window in the weather at the top of the mountain and we have our fingers crossed that Mother Nature is on our side.

The cable car up the mountain to where we catch the cog railway almost to the top of the mountain is a fantastic ride, the views are spectactular and as we get up further we see the snow line and it gets whiter and whiter, We”re all excited but none more than Liz who has never seen or touched snow before.

Now the education bit, if you don’t like the background stuff skip forward to where it might get more interesting, or more boring – depends on how tired I am. The jungfraujoch is a saddle connecting major peaks of the Bernese Alps, The Jungfrau and the Monch. Height is 3463 metres, but, The Eiger is 3967 metres its the peak that we are at, not right at the top but close. The Eiger is a challenge for climbers the world over and is one of the 6 classic North faces on the globe for climbers. They can have it, I can hardly walk up the path let alone climb in the freezing ice and snow. The Swiss have done a fantastic job getting access to this area, the staff are super helpful, everything is efficient, clean and works. The only problem we have is the clarity of the instructions on where to go, but we work it out, at least the Navigator does with her linguistic skills which involve hand waving and talking a lot and at a higher volume. She’s assisted by Liz who has now become an apprentice Navigator, she had a small test this afternoon and had to be coached into finding the apartment under pressure when are tired after a long day, BUT, she is improving.

So the punt came off, the weather at the top is unbelievably clear, the sun comes out, the view down the glacier is spectacular and then we get out into the real snow and ice. It must have snowed last night as there is a nice thick layer of powder snow on top of crunchy icey snow. Genelle and Liz lay down in the snow and do the star burst thing, juvenile behaviour but snow does that to Genelle. Once many years ago, just after we were married, she came home from doing pottery (yes readers – she was a potter – who’d a thunk it!) and it had just started snowing and demanded we go for a drive in the snow. The old Torana slipped and slid and we nearly died, f….k the snow I say. She has a whinge that her hands are cold, well they would be when you are rolling up snow and throwing at me and others. She encourages Liz to roll up a solid snow ball, she hasn’t quite mastered snow balls yet (But Paul has I think – he’s a bit chilly ) but she manages to ht me up the side of the head with a chuck of icey snow that momentarily stunned me. I think the problem is she’s not feeling well, she’s not herself, she has the wobbles, is light headed, we’re 13,400 feet high and oxygen deprivation has taken its toll. You can’t talk, throw snow balls, give orders and fend off pesky tourists without enough oxygen.

We find the ice cave and post a postcard to a small person in Cobar from the highest point in Europe, at least thats what they say on the wall at the to point of the Eiger.

We went up via Grunelwald and we came back to the bottom via the cog railway via Lauterbrunnen. The train trip is stunning, as we wind our way down from 13,000 feet, there are avalance barriers, huge valleys underneath sheer cliffs hundreds of feet high. The scenery is so much more stunning and the experience so much better that the Pilatus experience, if you have the opportunity to do one then do Jungfraujoch, its a bit more expensive but so much better

There wasn’t a huge crowd because the forecast was crap for the afternoon, but there were lots of Japanese and Thai tourists as well as Germans and Americans. Funny seeing Thai tourists, they were having a ball, guess they wouldn’t see much snow, less than us I suppose, and the Japanese crowd, despite being so gentle and friendly at home push and shove their way through lines and annoy a lot of people. Bit of a contradiction but thats how I saw it today.

The train home is quiet, except for the snoring from the sleepers, Liz snorts so loudly she nearly sets off the train alarm, if there had been curtains there she would have inhaled them and Genelle nearly trips the conductor 3 times with her legs over the aisle. Paul and I quietly enjoy the trip home. We’re home at 5pm, Liz is given the job of navigating home, a little hesitation but she gets us there with a little help.

Its been a long day so Cheers from Luzern for today – Pauolo

Today is Sunday 25th September. We’re having sleep in, we’re not leaving for Mt Pilatus until 8am, but the signs aren’t good outside, its drizzling rain and about 8deg C. The Navigator sprint/walks to the train station afraid a) that I’ll get lost b) we’ll be late for ferry and c) Option a) and b) which means I’ll really be in the gun. Its helpful that I actually know where I’m going, despite the commentary from the side suggesting otherwise from the real Navigator. This is proven later in the day when we are walking home and Genelle and Liz would have turned left and ended up back at Mt Pilatus rather than right to our apartment, but I say nothing, discretion means I might live another day. Normally I’d make a point but today isn’t the day, the glare in her eyes early in the day tells me that I need to be very careful.

First job is finding out what wharf our boat to the cog railway leaves from, initially we are told 5 but then its changed to 2. We chat to an elderly couple from San Franciso who look to be in their mid late 70’s and still doing interesting travel, good on them I say. We board our ferrym there are a lot of Asian’s, not sure where from but the language sounds Chinese so maybe Taiwan or Korea, not sure, and Americans. Lots of Americans, one woman shoved her hands in the toilet hand dryer above The Navigators at Mt Pilatus, its a wonder she still has a straight nose and all her limbs pulling that stunt – she clearly missed the signals.

Its pissing down rain as we wind around Lake Luzern towards the starting point of the cog railway up Mt Pilatus. Mt Pilatus cog railway was opened in 1889, at 48 degrees incline its still the steepest cog railway in the world taking about 30 minutes to get from the ferry at Alpnachstad to Pilatus Kulm (the top). The ride up the railway is safe but anyone who struggles with heights might have a bit of anxiety when you look down, it rises up to a bit above 7,000 feet. The location and the gondola ride down the other side were used in a James Bond film On Her Majesties Secret Service, its also a Swiss military base as well as tourist destination.

When we get up the top the clouds sort of clear, we can see over Lake Lucerne and Lucerne itself but clouds keep rolling in. There is no ice or snow up there so Liz is a little disappointed, she still hasn’t experienced snow but that might happen tomorrow when we go to the Jungfraujoc which is 11,500 feet high. The views are spectacular, we are so high.

A sandwich we made does for lunch, then the cable car ride back down the bottom. Its spectacular, with a small change in the middle. At the bottom of the mountain we walk for about 10 minutes to get the bus back to the Lucerne train station.

Before we walk home, or Pt Pilatus if certain people had their way, we go to the Swiss Railway travel office, we were told they are excellent and this proves to be correct, they sort out tomorrows trip to Jungfraujoc which involves 2 trains, a cog railway and cable cars and as well as that they change our train frm Lucerne to Basel on Wednesday to a more civilised leaving time from 5:30am to about 7:00am, a job well done.

There is a little shopping for dinner at the COOP supermarket in the train station before the walk home which could have been awkward if we’d taken Genelle (The Navigator) and Liz’s direction, but never mind all is good, no points to be scored, or is there?

Dinner is in house, pork and chicken, salad, a beer and a cup of tea.

Guten Abend from Luzern, Switzerland – Pauolo

5.30am start, Genelle is well again, just feeling a bit doughy, probably the drugs she took to kill the migraine.

6.30am we’re out of the hotel, bag wheels clatter on the cobblestones, echoing in the almost empty dark street.

Florence SMN train station is quiet, you can actually get a seat while waiting for your platform to come up on the board. Soon enough our train to Milano is on the board and we load up, walk, board the train, lift bags and sit in our seats. The two hours to Milan at up to 300 kmh, passes pretty quickly, the country is farming, looks like productive country, no spectacular scenery or villas to stay in.

We’re not in Milano Central, we’re in one before it called Milano Porta Garibaldi where we change trains to Lucerne, a one hour wait. Not an attractive place, we’re a bit edgy and tired and maybe we just want to get on last leg into Switzerland.

The scenery gets more interesting after Monza, Lake Como, Lake Lugarno, the mountains, lush paddocks with actual cattle eating real grass. The mountains are getting bigger, more grass, more cows and the odd sheep in drizzling rain. Its a Swiss train so we arrive in Luzern spot on time. The Navigator is debating whether to taxi to our apartment or walk, she cant decide but I can tell she wants to take a taxi so I say lets walk. Luckily she’s agreeable and its only a 10 minute walk past the bridge up a few streets, our host is waiting in the carpark which looks a bit mingy but the apartment is lovely, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a living room, warm cosy, modern, clean, we picked a winner I reckon. Our host gives us a lot of tips on local living, top marks for the intro and friendly guidance.

We gather ourselves after the long train trip, shopping at Aldi is next, we spend 80 swiss franks (1SF = $1.56 AUD, about the same as Euro’s), a few nibbles, lagers, breakfasts, dinners, the women get some fruit and some bread from the bakery downstairs. Its a local neighbourhoood where we are located, on the edge of “old ” Luzern, our address is Kasimir-Pfyffer- Strasse 2, Luzern. There are funky shops in the streets, bakeries, barbers, 2nd hand shops and others that will temp a world class shoper like the Navigator.

Dinner tonight is in house, a few 59c lagers from Aldi, a chicken dish and salad for dinner is planned and a good sleep before we attack the cog railway up to Mount Pilatus tomorrow then we now have a plan for the/ Jung Frau on Monday, Tuesday will be rest and shopping day, before we head to France on Wednesday.

So for 4 days the following is translating basics for Swiss German ;

Goodbye = Auf Wiedersehen, Entrance = Eingang, Exit = Ausfart, Good Morning = Guten Morgen, Good Evening= Guten Abend, piss off = Verpiss Dich (same as for f…. off), Thankyou = Danker, toilet = toilette, pretty easy for a multi linguist like Il Maestro who we’ve been travelling with in the south and Tuscany, but now he’s in Sardinia and not with us, we’ll do the best we can.

So Guten Abend from Luzern, Switzerland tonight – Pauolo

5.30am rise, for a 6.30am transfer with Enzo to Camuchia – Cortona train station. Enzo arrives early in the black Mercedes van, we arrive at the train early so coffee and croissants are procured at the train station canteen. It’s cool, dark , and there are others waiting. A few trains whizz through the station not stopping, they are at pace. Our 7:02am train arrives on time, we get seats and then snooze until Florence.

Florence is warmer, but not hot, not yet anyway. A short walk from the Florence SMN train station to the Hotel Globus where we check in drop our bags, drop the bags as we can’t check in yet, its only 9:30am, then walk back the train station, buy tickets to Pisa.

Lets just say that Pisa is about 4 hours of my life I’ll never get back. I can’t say I enjoyed it, maybe I did for about 5 minutes of looking at the tower and the cathedral from the outside as we didn’t have enough time to get tickets to go inside the cathedral and take a 12:30 slot available, its free but you have to book.

The history is roughly; Tower of Pisa is more accurately referred to simply as the bell tower, or campanile. Building commenced in about 1175 and continued for about 200 years due to the onset of a series of wars. Till today, the name of the architect is a mystery. Good thing because it appears he buggered it up a bit, didn’t do his soil testing and undercooked the footing a bit because the 185 foot tower is a bit over 5 metres off the vertical, its also a bit bent due to attempts to straighten it.

The Pisa tower is one of the four buildings that make up the cathedral complex in Pisa, Italy, called Campo dei Miracoli or Piazza dei Miracoli, which means Field of Miracles. To be fair the building are beautiful white marble and inside the cathedral looks stunning with a gold or bronze ceiling.

Take a step back, we got off the train, The Navigator turned left, we should have turned right, then back tracked through the tunnel to the correct side of the station, then walking with Google mapped we made our way with a gazzilion other tourists for 25 minutes to the tower and cathedral. Our return train to Florence is at 1pm, so after a cursory look, the obligatory photos pretending to hold up the tower we walk back through the ugly grubby streets, over the Arno river towards the train station. A quick food stop is abandoned when we think we’ll miss the train back to Florence. Hot tip – don’t miss the train out of Pisa, except for the tower and cathedral (book a free ticket at the office over behind the tower first thing when you arrive – it looks worth seeing), everything looks dirty, unattractive and largely unappealing.

Back in Florence we have a lunch near the train station, rest for 30 minutes, then hit the cobblestones and do the cooks tour of Florence for Paul, the Duomo, Santa Croche (inside ), Palazzo vechio sculptures, walk through the bottom of the Uffizi, over the Ponte Vechio, and back via the Piazza where the carousel is. Florence is a beautiful city, easily walkable, and so many things to see and do and so many food options to choose from. You need at least 3-5 days to get a good go at it really. The Navigator has picked up a migraine due to lack of food and too much walking so retires to the room to lighten the drug stash in her bag. Paul, Liz and I head to a nice restaurant around the corner from the hotel for dinner. The drugs obviously work because I can’t wake the Navigator when I knock on the door, so I head to reception and chat with the nice receptionist who is a music fan, we talk about blues and roots music then she gives me a spare key to the room.

A long day, ciao from Italy for the last time this trip – Pauolo

We’re the first ones in the breakfast room, its not full of German travellers today, the view hasn’t improved on yesterday but it probably couldn’t really. Anyway, we get first chop at the croissants, first cappuchino’s and a monopoly on the view until some American’s turn up. They look at us strangly when we say “gooday”, and we get no response, they must think we’re Russians, dunno?

The plan is to head out of Tuscany into Umbrian, the border is only a few k’s away but I’m trying to make it sound a little sexy so give me a bit of lattitude. I’ve got used to driving the little Renault Clio, its auto (my demand to the Navigator if I’m to drive (and a good demand that was), its four door despite what I initially thought, its diesel, and turns and accelerates quickly, good for getting out of trouble.

The drive cross into Umbria is very interesting, through villages, around the edge of Lago Tresimeno where its industrial and mostly not as ancient as the tourist areas, but still interesting. First stop is Panicale. The reason we came here is because many years ago friend of ours, no names mentioned (Dave & Ali) stayed here with their children Eleanor and Tim for some time and they were the ones who recommended we stay at Cortona the next year when we were coming to Italy, and we thought a return visit to Panicale would be interesting to see how it looks now. Well, It hasn’t changed much at all, the cafe/ restaurant was in the hands of some younger people but the place is drop dead beautiful, quiet, hardly any tourists (maybe 5-6 other than us), neat, seems friendly. I could be tempted to spend time here, if I could or was allowed to.

The next port of call is Castiglione del Lago (castle on the lake or soemthing like that) somewhere we haven’t been before. I make a small navigation error but its inconsequential as the town is small, find a nice park and we wander here for some time. Its a pretty town, The Navigator buys a few things, checks out the jewellery she can’t afford, we skip lunch thinking we’ll have some when we get back to Cortona. Its really worth stopping here. Its right on the lake, lots of nice shops, good restaurants, and looks like a slow pace.

The drive back up the hill to Cortona is via a narrow road, often close to the edge of the road, a little stress when we end up in via Nationale but a quick left 160 degree turn gets me out of it down the hill and on to the road up the mountain to Santa Margherita. Its a beautiful church, blue blue with Saint Margaret there in her glass coffin looking a bit off. Next stop is back down the hill to the cemetery, its kept immaculately, and almost every grave has a photo of the occupier – I think its a great idea. Enough of dead people, we then fill up with diesel, 40 euros, not bad for 4 days and lots of km’s I think.

Lunch is not lunch, not even a late lunch, its a drink and some pastries, we’re in the food twilight zone between lunch and dinner so we’re lucky to get anything.

We pick up some art prints, The Navigator goes shopping and I go to hand over the car while Paul and Liz have a look at the museum (they were impressed). The lovely Laura checks the car, takes the keys then loses them in her bag, sounds like The Navigator (I wonder if she spills food down her front as well?), then proceeds to ask how we enjoyed Cortona, where we went, how Allister and Jaquie enjoyed it and their driving, she enquired about Australia, where the wine regions were etc etc until The Navigator calls wanting to know where the f… I was. Oh the bloody Laura, she distracted me.

In the middle of this we run into Ian Dixon (the former Orange City master of the dark arts of forward play) and Deb in Piazza Signorelli, a final chew of the fat, remember old times and other important stuff, he tries hard to convince Deb to drive to the top of the hill but she has none of it, walking is her only option and it appears its now his only option.

Dinner tonight is at Teatro Signorilli in the Piazza Signorelli, The building started as a church in the 1400’s or earlier, then they tried to fix a bottleneck for horses and carts where the piazza links with via Dardano and knocked down what I think were grain storeage buildings ( I might have that wrong). The resaturant was recommended by the artist who we bought the prints from (the Englishes know who he is). Mamma and a young 20ish girl run the place, the food is home style food, delicious except for The Navigator’s veal dish which she felt wasn’t up to the standard she now expects of her Italian cuisine.

A great day, we saw a lot, had a nice dinner and tomorrow we head into Florence for one night before we head to Switzerland when I think the rain starts and the weather gets colder.

Ciao for now from Cortona for the last time this trip – Pauolo