Flight QR909  Zone 4 ( this is us in seats 51D & E) is not Business or 1st Class, its Economy, its us, and Zone 4 is the last to board, but the Qatar staff are great, the plane is nice. It’s a bit later than 7am when we get off the ground though.

We have 2 babies in the row in front of us but so far the little tackers are not screaming. Neither are the mother and father, very unAustralian behaviour.

Breakfast includes an offer of alcohol, odd for an Arabic airline, so in defference to my belief of not being pissed by morning tea time I sip apple juice with my banana bread, yoghurt and cup of tea.

Next I watch the movie “Operation Mincemeat” , a true story (I’m assuming they added a fictitious love story and some conflict for effect) of the British misleading the Germans in WWII prior to the Normandy landings. My headphone plug ( plane side – a negative for Qatar but only a minor issue) is shot and crackles badly so I revert to a Blues Playlist I have ready on my phone with obscure and great (my view only) blues songs and singers. This includes artists like; All Them Witches, Billy D & The Hudoos, Beth Hart, Joe Boamassa,  Chis Beard, Champion JackDupree, Gary Clarke Jnr, Jim Suhler & Monkeybeat and others. I blow up my pillow, turn thr noise cancelling on, turn the music up loud, recline ( just a little) and get into the groove with my eyes closed. 14-15 hours is a fair bit of music.

Nearly 10 hours in and the passengers are still pretty civil, hardly any babies or kids are crying or obnoxious. Other than the length of the trip there isn’t anything to whine about. Yet.

Finally arrived in Doha, it’s a mess, the staff are trying hard to sort out who goes on or who is staying in Doha. I think they are trying to get us permission from Qatar immigration to take us into a hotel in Doha, but the are people everywhere and one of the Qatar airline guys has our boarding passes, our passports and our vaccine certificates. If he’s not back soon The Navigator is going to hunt him down and kill him.

I’ll update later

2.30am the alarm goes off, then the 2nd and 3rd alarm and then the hotel wakeup call. This is after I woke with a sudden feeling I had missed the alarms, my watch showed 3.15, at least I thought it did, I jumped out of bed and raced around to check the digital clock without glasses on, couldn’t see what it said, raced to the bathroom and turned the light on and my watch shows 12.15am. Meanwhile The Navigator sleeps on blissfully unaware of my panic, panic is normally The Navigators job. Not to say I don’t panic, it’s just that I try to hide it, but she picks it up in my eyes and then asks questions that provoke uncalled for smart arse comments from me. There you go, I feel I’m being a little conciliatory by saying this, sort of like going to a Smart Arse Annonomous meeting, I’veactually admitted that I’m addicted to making sarcastic uncalled for comments to people close to me. Not sure how many steps there are in this SAA thing? Il Maestro and Il Banditore, pay attention, you might like to join me at a meeting.

So, it’s 3am, f… it’s early, downstairs, checkout, $30 cab ( he didn’t turn the meter on!!!, I didn’t notice), but fair enough at that time of the day. Qatar CheckIn is good, we’re dealing with humans, and nice and helpful ones at that, then on to wait at the “gate of no return” for 1/2 an hour until it opens at 4am. The line up is long, but we’re at the front, sort of. Security check and again the Gopro and its bits and pieces throw them, I’m going to have to change tactics and put it in my check in bag.

We’re scheduled to leave at 7am. That’s good news. Fingers crossed we get given a hotel room in Doha, they said that there would be somebody meeting us in Doha to sort that stuff out.

Ciao from Sydney, next post from Doha – Pauolo.

Let’s start the day with a little confusion, Qatar have had “issues” with the flight to Australia, so Lagente called to say things with flights are in a state of flux, I’d say things are fluxed, but let’s see.

After that news I was trying to deadlock the bedroom window and dropped the window onto my left hand, nearly guillotined my left index finger off. But after a lot of phrases all starting with “Flux”, blood over the floor, blended with ice and tissues the blood flow slows, the throbbing pain settle, just a little. IDT ( the nurse) drops in and attends to some clinical work, I attend to finding pain killers. The end of my finger is looking a bit black and blue, I’ll probably lose the nail, but most importantly I think I’ll live.

We get to the airport in plenty of time, check in is fine, final correct weight is declared – me = 13.3kg The Navigator = 12.6kg.

Then the dreaded security check, this us Dubbo by the way, Genelle is fine, but i do have a red mark on my shoulder so I get the pat down, its skin, bone and a small amount of muscle, so not sure what the machine has picked up, maybe theres a ghost sneaking through with me. I dunno. Anyway then I have my back pack pulled apart and then have my Bose headphones inspected for explosives or drugs ( who knows?) , then I’m question sternly about my Gopro case, ” What is this implement?” Answer “It’s a GoPro camera”, Question ” What does this thing do?, Answer ” It’s a camera”, and ” So what does it do?”, Answer ” Have a wild hairy arsed guess!”

More comedy occurs mid flight. The blood drains from The Navigators face when the pilot advises us there is a “technical problem, bit it’s ok, no concern, just don’t be alarmed when you hear one engine working harder as we come into land” . Of course it’s all ok.

The Navigator then has trouble with her Opal Card, she has to top it up but the machine won’t take her credit card, so they send a 20 something year old over with her to “helpdesk” her through it.

Next issue is our Qatar flight has been cancelled from tonight to 7am tomorrow. They book us into the Stamford Plaza, swish joint, used to stay here on Elders years ago, a $40/person meal voucher and a refund for a taxi promised, but, we have to be at the airport at 3.30am. Then we have to stay a night in Doha (Qatar will pay we think), then fly to Rome via Brussells, with a 1 hour changeover in Brussells. The life of a jetset traveller ain’t that appealing I have to say.

So it’s grilled barramundi, some painkillers for the finger, a beer for the stress and an early night.

Ciao from Sydney – Pauolo

The usual last minute jobs are on the list, things like ” test pool”, “mow lawn”, “advise bank of travel”, of course The Navigator doesn’t need a paper list, it’s in her head, unlike her other paper stuff spread all over the house. To be fair she has cleaned the paper up and sorted our hard copy travel documents into 2 piles, each about 1kg in weight, heavier than the medical kit she carries. One pile for her and one for me ( just in case).

One thing on the list was ” set up security cameras”, I had acquired a security camera kit from Bunnings after much research into 1080 v 2k, subscription v non subscription and other stuff I didnt really understand. Then excitedly I took it all out of the box and laid it out like instruments on a surgeons tray ready to operate, then I stalled at step 1 of the manual. The f…g thing wouldn’t connect to my phone, with an American accented voice saying “Cannot connect to the internet, try again”, so many times I was ready to pelt it out the window, or at The Navigator advising from the side with suggestions at a time when she might have been better to stay silent. Reluctantly I deferred to younger, more tech savvy, infinitely more patient family members ( thanks Mark & Tobe) who sorted through the issues, rearranged some of the bits and pieces, and after 2 days it’s finally working. I’m normally pretty patient but technology and The Navigator advising but not “doing” takes me to the limit.

The Navigator is a good packer, I have to acknowledge that, she can travel with 10-12 kg. However the other day I arrived back from Sydney there was a look of mild panic on her face, she had packed her bag and it was weighing 22kg and she didn’t think she could reduce the weight much more. She weighed it using the travel scales we use. I checked the scales and she had set them on pounds not kilos, crisis averted, 22 lbs = 10kg, so now she’s gone looking for more shoes and extra medical kit to get the weight up. We travel with a medical kit that most paramedics could not fit in an ambulance.

Last night I culled again, sorted money stuff, camera gear, today I’ll repack and hopefully get my bag to about 13-14 kg or less.

Getting ready for travelling is so stressful for a “perfectionist”, I can never find perfection, I try and cover everything and every situation with my packing, and it’s impossible, I still end up with too much, or too little ( in my head). Anyway you look at it, it’s a first world problem, having too much choice is not a problem.

The little container of Tim’s ashes is packed, we’ll leave him at places we haven’t left him before. The last 2 drops were in the Andaman Sea off Thailand and a moving little Buddhist ceremony on the Mekong River four weeks ago.

Tonight we heard that our flight from Doha to Rome has been cancelled, so we’re waiting hear back from Sonya regarding the options, if there are any, of getting from the Middle East to Rome. Fingers crossed that we find a way.

By the way, bag weights at the moment The Navigator 12.8kg Pauolo 12.4kg

Ciao from Pauolo in Dubbo for a day longer

We leave for Italy on Wednesday via Doha flying Qatar. We’ll be meeting the rest of the touring party in Sorrento in the south of Italy and some in Cortona in Tuscany a little later.

The touring party consists of;

Me – aka Pauolo – aka Reidy aka The Shit Kicking Notetaker aka Il Merda che Prende Appunti, let’s leave it as Pauolo. The steady humble one with royal DNA.

Genelle R. – married to the long suffering Pauolo aka The Navigator aka -Il Navigatore. Lets just leave it as The Navigator. A world class shopper who thinks she knows her way to places, but on most occasions that’s debatable and more often just wrong.

John P – aka The Auctioneer aka Il Banditore ( appropriate?) You be the judge.

Sonya H – aka The Agent aka L’agente. An agent of real estate, travel and for all we know a secret agent.

Andrew W. – aka The Cranbrook Boy aka Il Ragazzo di Cranbrook ( as opposed to a Cranbrook Girl). Ragazzo has a ring to it.

Jane W. – aka The Palliative Care Nurse aka L’infermiera Della Quasi Morte. Let’s just call her Morte L’infermiera or better still Della

Allister R. – aka The MC aka Il Maestro delle Cerimonie let’s just say Il Maestro

Jacquie R. – aka Boss of the Master aka Capo del Maestro

Peter E. – aka Motor Cycle Man aka Ciclista. He has been known to dismount motor cycles while still operating them so Ciclista Dismountus is appropriate, I’d hope he doesn’t punch me in the head when we catch up Sorrento.

Wendy E. – aka The Professor aka Il Professore. Don’t f… with Il Professore, she’s scarier than The Navigator and can knock vodka back like Boris Yeltsin on a big day.

Joining us a bit later;

Paul M. – aka The Sparky aka Lo Scintillante, let’s do the Aussie thing and shorten it to Scintillante

Liz M. – The Theatre Nurse aka Infermiera di Teatro. Let’s just say IDT it’s shorter and I won’t have to type as much. A lover of Irish whisky, and can handle the sight of real blood and guts. Might be handy if I The Meastro cross Il Professore or The Navigator with smart arse comments or words to that effect of a verbal or written nature.

Helen – Aka 1955 ( A great year) aka Diciannove e Cinquantacinque I like ’55 so let’s say Cinquantacinque for short.

Rob – aka The Architect aka L’architetto. I think The Architect is ok.

So that’s it for the touring group. Rule 13 does not apply for my blog, nor does Rule 14 which says that Bloggers have to tell the truth. Rule 15 says bloggers can swear but I promise I’ll take it easy on the four letteries.

Ciao from Dubbo on Day -5 Italy – Paulo

– Blending a team together is difficult but it’s important. If its not blending, find the problem and apply the “no dickhead” rule.

– Laos is beautiful and poor and ever so cheap. Go there and if you can do a trip on the mighty Mekong River then do it.

– Pack lightly and practically. Mix colours so you can alternate shorts/pants and shirts – that rule doesn’t apply to me as I’m colour blind. Take less than you think you’ll need, way less.

– Always mix in some down days to catch up after busy periods otherwise you’ll run out of steam. If you go hard every day all day it will take its toll.

– Cash v Card to get Thai Baht. Bring AUD cash, no fees to change. ATM fee is 220 baht per transaction so withdraw bigger amounts eg 5-10,000 baht per withdrawal. You’ll need 100 baht notes to buy stuff so get them and smaller notes when you can

Know some basic words and use them, the most common are ( phonetically) end words/phrases with Khrup if you are a man and Ka if you are a woman. Thankyou = Kap khum (khrup/ka), Hello = Sawadee (khrup/ka) , Yes = Chai (khrup/ka), No = Mai ,(khrup/ka), Where is the toilet=Hong nam yoo tee nai (khrup/ka), No Worries = Mai pen rai.

Shopping – unless it’s a shop with fixed prices always, always bargain, get them to give you a price, if its 600 baht then shake your head, say 200 baht, then walk away if you can’t get them to 300 baht, they will probably come to the party. Only offer a price first if you know what the market price is. Do “knockoff” clothes in one shop so more means cheaper, bargain hard.

Tailors – cheap tailors usually mean cheap clothes, pay a little more with a quality tailor, word of mouth is the best way to find the better tailors eg Tommy Fashion at Kamala Beach is very good, used to be Hilfiger Fashion in Patong.

Planning a Day – what I like is a) breakfast b) walk on the beach c) swim in pool or surf d) lunch e) massage or shopping + a swim f) dinner and a refreshing beverage g) shopping and/or massage

What did I like the most?

1. 350- 400km on a boat on the Mekong was fantastic. Mountains, jungle, villages, river life, it was wonderful. A special memory is the Buddhist ceremony Naa initiated where we put some of Tim’s ashes into the Mekong, it was a little bit of a blurr to me but I really appreciated everyone participating.

2. Luang Prabang – I could spend more time here. Beautiful World Heritage area, the Mekong, elephant sanctuary/ rehabilitation, the waterfalls, the Lao people, the markets.

3. Northern Thailand. It’s different to the south, a little more chilled.

4. Intrepid trips and staff. Great itineraries, fantastic staff, would travel with them anywhere.

5. Our travel group – what a great group of people to travel with.

What is the next adventure? Well, I’d love to go to Vietnam, Cambodia, Iran and other places in the middle east, Southern India and back to Japan. But first, Europe next week.

Ciao from Thailand/Laos Paulo

…

I know this is 3 weeks ago but I need I wrap up the Thailand Laos Trip. I hate waiting to leave somewhere. I don’t like long haul flights but if you want to travel this is what you have push through.

We finally get to board the plane, it’s about an hour late but at least it’s flying.an overnight flight, not one thing I’m looking forward to other than getting home.

There is a batch of young Irish guys in front of us, plus 2 older blokes I assume are fathers, the fathers look pissed and are pretty loud, we saw them at the bar sinking Heinikens and chatting up women, one of them gets up and down checking his backpack in the cabin luggage, it’s like he’s got ants in his pants. I resent that none of them wear masks and clearly have no intention of putting on. The Jetstar staff don’t do anything although they do make an announcement that masks are compulsory, that’s helpful, no it’s not, they ignore it.

I’m in the middle of the middle row, TMM on my left and a short young fella on my left, he’s figeting, writing a diary by hand ( unfashionable for a young person hand writing anything?). I can’t get into any tv or movies, Jetstar say they don’t have us down for food even though we paid for it – theaving pricks, we’re both a little annoyed but they want proof we paid for it otherwise we have to buy it, I refuse to pay for something twice so I go hungry. We can’t see anything on the MTA app that shows them we paid so we have to suck it up.

The flight lands on time, rhe pot put the pedal down I reckon, I got a bit of sleep thanks to my blow up pillow, but no thanks to the Irish bloke in front that has his screen up really bright and watches movies all f….g night. ** Note to self – take an eye mask next overnight flight.

We puck up our prepaid duty free grop then wait for a hour or so for our bags. The baggage carousel is surrounded by sleepy pissed off Jetstar customers waiting g for bags, it’s a mess. Finally they find the second trolley of bags off our plane and the carousel starts spinning again. Thankfully two orange Kathmandu 70 litre Hybrid bags are sited. Relief, TMM has a bag full of presents for a little girl in Cobar and it wouldn’t do to arrive home empty handed.

A McDonald’s brunch silences the growling belly, then the train to the Domestic terminal goes ok, then another annoying issue.

We have to check in to Qantas again, there are all the machines and one Qantas employee, but we can’t get our check in or get our Boarding Passes. Something is wrong, the woman in the red blouse saunters over the look on her face suggesting we’re imbeciles, but after showing her our Qantas FF cards, the itinerary she acknowledges we have to line up and see a human check in person as we can’t use the machines when we’ve flowing in via an international flight. What a f…up! The next thing is getting into the terminal through security, I say to the security bloke I’ve got titanium knees he says to just get in the normal line, the machine goes off, then the next bloke says you should have said you had replacement knees and gone to the full body scanner, I said I did tell him, oh well bad luck, so shoes, belt, watch have to come off, an offer of going to a private place – i say no thanks just f…g get in with it, I guessing you’ve picked up I’m tired and annoyed at Qantas or airport staff inefficiency and incompetence, I know they are short staffed but that’s not my problem, I’m the customer. I think that sentence is way too long but I’m not changing it.

Home at last, on time, and a good night’s sleep changes my attitude somewhat.

I’m going to sum the trip up next post, what I liked, what I didn’t like, and some tips. Then it’s starting a new series next week when we leave for Europe.

Ciao from Paulo

Another warm sunny day in Phuket, as usual it will get hotter and steamier as the day goes on. Forecast is Max 29deg C Min 28deg C 90% chance of 5-10ml rain = Normal for this time of the year. It’s cooler and dryer in December, their winter,  but it’s never ever cold.

The pool is the best spot in town, the water is cooler than the surf down at the beach so 2 deck chairs under the frangiapani tree is ideal. I burn a few chapters of “Portrait of an Unknown Woman” by Daniel Silva, here’s a bloke who can craft a thriller novel around the world and politics of the day.

A massage at “Original Massage” near Sweet then a watermelon shake and chicken noodle soup dish at Sweet for lunch. Shame I overcooked the chili powder when I sprinkled it, my tongue and lips are dancing the chilli jig and the watermelon shake is a godsend cooling my mouth down. Then back to the pool, a final look at the ceramic shop, then the final pack. Not sure if my bag will be over the 20kg allowance. Dale reckons he’s a chance of being pinged for importing commercial quantities of Drongo aka Poo pants, he sure does have a few in his bag, along with a huge bell hes carted atound Thailand and Laos. He went and bought a supplementary backpack for 500 baht ($20) last night to make sure he had enough space for all his stuff. We’ll see?

5.30 Oz is due to pick us up.

Oz arrives at 5.30, spot on, we’re in jeans and long sleeve shirts ready for a home winters day, but the sweat is pouring off us, until Oz’s air con stems the sweat flow. It takes an hour to get to the International airport,  travelling up the coast road to get to the airport, by then my brow is dry. Oz charges 1000 baht for the trip.

Inside the airport  we go straight to the Jetstar Checkin and wait about 15 minutes before we get to a desk. My bag weighs 19kg and TMM’s is 20.8kg, a bag full of bells and Poo Pants, what a man! Anyway I win the checkin weight competition!

Our flight is delayed from 10.20 to 10.50pm, an iced cappuccino for me and a coke and a cappuccino for Dale – he probably won’t sleep on the plane.

I’m calling it a day from Phuket International Airport, the next blog will be a wrap on the trip. Thanks to those of you that followed and put up with my rambling mix of non fiction and fictional travel adventure around Thailand, down the northern Mekong in a boat into Laos and then overland through Laos with The Maintenance Man ( I’m sure you’ll remember him). He steadied the ship when I was confused and lost ( that never happened), he developed into a shopper that his Aunty would be proud of, some more training and he’ll be world class especially in women’s and girls clothes and jewellery.

Ciao from Phuket – Pauolo

At the airport, waiting waiting

Breakfast, same time, same place. Today’s walk is north on Patong Beach, it’s high tide, there is a little detritus on the beach, old toothbrushes and thongs with barnacles on them. The question, how do they get in the ocean, do people just say “oh cleaned my teeth and the brush is a little tired – ahhh just toss it in the sea?” It’s warm, humid, normal for this place this time of the year, the pace is brisk and we make it to Diamond Cliff Resort in 40 minutes with a nice old sweat soaking my t-shirt. A walk back along the footpath takes 35 minutes, dodging massage girls and tuk tuk drivers.

The Banthai pool is needed to bring our core temps down a bit until mid afternoon when we wander off going our own ways for a snack and an iced coffee ( for me) a massage for him.

Mr Siam meets us right on 5pm and out to Kamala to Tommy Fashion we go for final fitting check, all is good so a couple of Singha’s and dinner guest of Mr Siam’s (again). Tonight I have fish (a grilled sole) and Dale has a stir fry garlic chicken dish, both dishes are so good and so filling. We’re back in Patong at 7.30 for swim and some tidy up shopping. Bag shopping that is, TMM is now a confirmed “P” plater bag shopper, he bought a Huxley knock off backpack to fit all the girl stuff he bought for the females in his life, one in particular. Still not in his Aunties class when it comes to buying bags.

Tomorrow is the last day, we have Oz organised to pick us up at 5.30pm, flight leaves at 10.20pm Jetstar direct to Sydney

Ciao from Phuket – Pauolo

No change to the breakfast schedule, we got out table back this morning.

A walk south on the beach to where the sand finishes and the hill starts. A little fish market is set up on the footpath, a woman is scaling fish, little children clinging to her. It looks like a local market, no falang (foreigner) would probably buy the fish though it’s just come out of the sea.

The pool beckons, the routine is focused on relaxation now, the swelling in my feet and ankles from fast and busy travelling is now gone. The water is just the right temperature.

Lunch at Sweet for me, TMM won’t leave the pool, but a watermelon shake and a Thai dish with chicken, rice, veggies and fish sauce (tiny spicy) wins me over. Wal the owner drops in and says a quick hello.

Then back to the Banthai to psych myself up for the visit to the dentist in an hours time.

Nice surprise, I found a way through to the street at the back where the Sea Smile the dentist is, easy I think, but I walk past the one I was meant to be in and go to the wrong surgery don’t I , so I have to walk back past all the same massage shops with the lady boys and short skirt big breasted masseuses ( I think they have another name!) grabbing my arm and offering exotic services. I find the right place, I’m about 100 metres out, I fill in a wad of paperwork, and wait. My nerves are eased a little when I’m called, I’m ushed into a room with 3 young women in gloves, surgical gowns, masks and from what I can see they look like they are still in high school. The checkup goes well, my head is tilted back hard, about three fingers pull my lips in different directions and she starts up the grinding machinery, its not just the fluids spraying out of my mouth from their machinery onto my nose that causes their protective glasses to slide down my nose, its the sweat off my forehead from wondering if this elfin juvenile can do the job. Anyway, it all works out well, teeth are cleaned, descaled, polished and I’m suitably impressed, they are very competent, very professional, its impressively modern and clean. I walk back to the Banthai Hotel feeling pleased, this cost 1500 baht ($60), in Dubbo the bit that the health fund didn’t pay would add up to about $300.

TMM decides to leave the pool and go shopping, I don’t know how he finds the stamina for it, must be the McLeod genes, he’s progressed into a world class shopper, maybe not yet near the class of his Aunty The Navigator but getting there. Today he beat down the price of some clothes with a shop keeper who was deaf and dumb – now that I would have liked to see!

Dinner we decide is at the highly rated Soi No. 6 in the street behind Bangla Road, so we have to negotiate Soi Bangla again. When we get to the restaurant there is a line up, the place is small, is chock a block and we’re about 7th and 8th in the line. The line builds behind us. after about 20 minutes we get a table, TMM orders a pork garlic veggie stirfry with rice, I get a mussaman pork and we also get a shrimp dish. TMM starts to sweat, his sweat starts to sweat, there is a moderate amount of spice in his dish, I taste it and its beautiful, its a little more spicy than my mussaman dish. The shrimp dish is so good. All washed down with Singha beer, cost 600 baht ($24).

A walk along the beach to finish the day. Its high tide, the air is warm with a cooling breeze blowing off the sea. End of the 3rd last day of the trip

Ciao – Pauolo